Author
|
Topic: jokes (Read 155 times)
|
george burrows
redpatch43
Veteran 100+ Member
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 195
2002
|
 |
jokes
« on: August 07, 2008, 07:27:21 AM » |
|
A cowbo y named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the dig ital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'
'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me bac k my calf?'
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'
'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud.
&nb sp;
'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
Herd of sheep.. . ...... .
Now give me back my dog.
|
|
|
|
|
Buzz Gomes
Veteran 500+ Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 849
Pro Patria
|
|
Re: jokes
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2008, 08:54:13 AM » |
|
LOLOLOLOLO. Good one George.Thanks for the laughs. Keep em coming.
Buzz
|
1964-1968- 2 QOR Calgary, Cyprus
1968-1971- 2 CDO Edmonton
1971-1975- 3 Mech CDO Germany, A Coy Mor
1975-1983- 1 RCR London, Bn Tpt,C Coy, B Coy, Recce
1983-1985- RCR Battle School
1985-1990-1 RCR, B Coy, Dukes, Recce, Cyprus
1990-1992- OMD HQ Ottawa, G3 Trg
1992-1993- LMD HQ London, G3 Trg
1993-2007-4 RCR, RSM
Retired CWO
|
|
|
ranrad
Ron [Andy] Andrews
Ultimate 2000+ Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 2657
|
|
Re: jokes
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2008, 12:55:59 PM » |
|
Hawhawhawhawhohohohoh.. a dandy George . thanks for the gooder..ranrad
|
RCAF,CAF, converted RCR?,1RCR 74-77 CD: SSM (Nato);CPSM,;UN-Cyp.; UN- Golan
|
|
|
|
Logged
