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Author Topic: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)  (Read 29909 times)
Tim McCully
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #150 on: March 15, 2007, 08:52:54 PM »
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Gerry, i remember Dickie Connors, he was in Pioneers when i arrived at the Battalion, he is a good man!  Where did he get to anyway?
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #151 on: March 16, 2007, 04:06:23 AM »
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Hey Tim,

Dick remustered about the same time I did, around '87. I had 3 postings since then befroe 'retiring' last aug. Dick went AVN tech, got posted to Shearwater has been there since. He's still in, wearing blue. He married a girl from home about 15 to 20 years ago ( about 10 years his junior - way to go Dick  Grin). He has a son; Him and Charemaine (his wife) are separated now. Dick had a scare about 2 years ago - was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Had treatment, and as of now is doing good. Eventually when he retires, he's heading home and probably work at the St. John's airport
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1RCR Duke's Coy '82 - '87; Cyprus '84 / '85
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119 AD Bty medic, CFB Chatham '90 - '95
2RCR medic '95 - '00; SFOR Bosnia, 2RCR Roto 4 '99;
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CFRC Gagetown / Fredericton '02 - '06; 'retired' Aug '06
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #152 on: March 16, 2007, 04:54:47 AM »
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Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he/she falls
              asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:  Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:   There is not enough time to get
                everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:   The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:    Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:   They are the only ones who have
                the time.

Question: What is the common term for
                someone who enjoys work and
                refuses to retire?
Answer:   NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean
               out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do,
             one of their adult kids will want to
             store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:   Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe
                retirement?
Answer:   The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of
               going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:   If you cut classes, no one calls your
               parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he
               doesn't miss work, but misses the
               people he used to work with?
Answer :  He is too polite to tell the whole truth.   

My favorite one:

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, and on
              Sat & Sun I rest!
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Tim McCully
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #153 on: March 16, 2007, 05:32:53 AM »
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that sounds relly good gerry, glad to hear the old dog is a happy man, still remeber that bid black beard o his.  I stumbled into a young female driver about a year ago from London.  I ran west with her from North Bay to Regina.  Over the CB i mentioned that i was in 1 RCR in the 80's, and she told me that she had been searching for her biological father for many years and he was imn the Battalion.  She could not tell me his exact name but eventually we figured it was Todd Noftle.  I told her that if i was loking for that guy, i would start in ST. John.  A few days later she called my cel phone to tell me thank you, that she had established contact with him, right were i told her to start.  As far as i know, today they are all very happy.  Do you Todd?
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Clair "WHYTIE" Whyte
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #154 on: March 16, 2007, 05:39:15 AM »
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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter
Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:

"Make 'em all ugly again."
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #155 on: March 16, 2007, 05:43:16 AM »
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ha, ha, ha, that is good Clair.  Good chuckle to get me rolling, thanks brother.
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #156 on: March 16, 2007, 06:21:36 AM »
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My pleasure Tim, always here to help out a fellow brother with a laugh Wink Wink

Whytie
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #157 on: March 16, 2007, 06:39:21 AM »
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Wow Tim thats quite the story of Todd  Shocked

If any others ask ya don't know me  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Todd was a good guy was in TPT with him
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Geoff Halsey
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #158 on: March 16, 2007, 08:08:02 AM »
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For a minute there I broke out into a cold sweat... Grin..until i read the complete post

Todd; Haven't heard about Todd since I remustered. A few of us from the St.John's area would drive home and split gass / ferry expenses during leave periods. Good guy Todd
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1RCR Duke's Coy '82 - '87; Cyprus '84 / '85
LOTPed medic 1988; CFH Halifax '88 - '90
119 AD Bty medic, CFB Chatham '90 - '95
2RCR medic '95 - '00; SFOR Bosnia, 2RCR Roto 4 '99;
42 Hlth Svc Gagetown '00 - '02
CFRC Gagetown / Fredericton '02 - '06; 'retired' Aug '06
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #159 on: March 16, 2007, 08:12:19 AM »
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Hoy crap! I just 'retired' last aug and (most) of this sounds like moi (be only 43 this may)  Grin
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1RCR Duke's Coy '82 - '87; Cyprus '84 / '85
LOTPed medic 1988; CFH Halifax '88 - '90
119 AD Bty medic, CFB Chatham '90 - '95
2RCR medic '95 - '00; SFOR Bosnia, 2RCR Roto 4 '99;
42 Hlth Svc Gagetown '00 - '02
CFRC Gagetown / Fredericton '02 - '06; 'retired' Aug '06
HMCS Jolliet, Sept-Iles QC, medical staff / 'tiffy' (reserves)
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #160 on: March 17, 2007, 10:30:14 AM »
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WHO IS JACK SCHITT


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents'
objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being
married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted
Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep
her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #161 on: March 17, 2007, 01:06:39 PM »
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Three little boys were concerned
because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been baptized
and didn't go to Sunday School.

So they went to the nearest Church.
But, only the Janitor was there.

One little boy said,
"We need to be baptized
because no one will come out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.

He took them into the bathroom
and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,
one at a time.
Then He said, "You are now baptized!"

When they got outside,
one of them asked,
"What religion do you think we are?"
The oldest one said,

"We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."
The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water?!"

They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do you think that means?"

"I think it means we're Pisscopailians.


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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #162 on: March 17, 2007, 05:41:55 PM »
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Good one Jesse lololo.
Don
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A Coy 2 RCR London
1965-1968 B Coy 2 RCR Fort York Germany,
Promoted to Cpl 68.
1968-1973 D Coy 1 RCR London,
Promoted M\Cpl 69
1970 Cyprus
Promoted to Sgt 73
Took my release in Sep 1973 Rank Sgt
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #163 on: March 17, 2007, 08:47:55 PM »
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Dandy one Jesse, thanks for sharing...lolololololol.. ranrad
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #164 on: March 17, 2007, 09:10:43 PM »
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By gar , i gotta copy that and keep it handy... good one.. and no schitt...lolololol ranrad
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #165 on: March 21, 2007, 07:28:48 AM »
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Just had to share



« Last Edit: March 21, 2007, 07:46:34 AM by Ghalsey » Report to moderator   Logged

Geoff Halsey
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #166 on: March 21, 2007, 11:20:18 AM »
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Sure it's the Antartic Geoff? Looks a bit like the dock yard at Stadecona... Shocked  Grin
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1RCR Duke's Coy '82 - '87; Cyprus '84 / '85
LOTPed medic 1988; CFH Halifax '88 - '90
119 AD Bty medic, CFB Chatham '90 - '95
2RCR medic '95 - '00; SFOR Bosnia, 2RCR Roto 4 '99;
42 Hlth Svc Gagetown '00 - '02
CFRC Gagetown / Fredericton '02 - '06; 'retired' Aug '06
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #167 on: March 21, 2007, 02:45:21 PM »
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That's funny Geoff, thanks for the Ha,Ha, you are right Gerry, it does look a bit like Stad   Grin
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1RCR (82-88) B coy 6pl, (84-85) UNFICYP- BBC coy Tpt, C coy 9pl, E coy Mortars, (88-90) CFB Halifax Base Chief's Staff, CFB Trenton Refinisher Tech.(90-92). UNFICYP,CPSM
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #168 on: March 21, 2007, 03:20:15 PM »
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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face
was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin
from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about
where the Skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor
their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery
was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked
more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives
just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with
emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every
time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

Don
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1964-1965 RCR Depot North West Canada Pl,
A Coy 2 RCR London
1965-1968 B Coy 2 RCR Fort York Germany,
Promoted to Cpl 68.
1968-1973 D Coy 1 RCR London,
Promoted M\Cpl 69
1970 Cyprus
Promoted to Sgt 73
Took my release in Sep 1973 Rank Sgt
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #169 on: March 21, 2007, 07:54:35 PM »
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 Grin  Grin LOL! LOL! good one!  Grin
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1RCR Duke's Coy '82 - '87; Cyprus '84 / '85
LOTPed medic 1988; CFH Halifax '88 - '90
119 AD Bty medic, CFB Chatham '90 - '95
2RCR medic '95 - '00; SFOR Bosnia, 2RCR Roto 4 '99;
42 Hlth Svc Gagetown '00 - '02
CFRC Gagetown / Fredericton '02 - '06; 'retired' Aug '06
HMCS Jolliet, Sept-Iles QC, medical staff / 'tiffy' (reserves)
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #170 on: March 21, 2007, 09:50:10 PM »
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 Grin Great one Don Roll Eyes
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Re: The "Jokes" Thread (all the jokes and funny pictures go here)
« Reply #171 on: March 22, 2007, 06:08:29 AM »